Christmas Mad Lib

My brother, Chris, sent me this...thought it was kind of silly and funny.... why don't you see how your letter will turn out? Christmas Mad Lib


Santa ClausNorth Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,

I have been a good Girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Felicia's Office party. It was Kim who spiked the punch with too much Long Island Ice Tea. I can't help it if I drank 3 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Smelly Ass.
I thought it was funny when I put Angela's Bra on my head and danced the Tango on the Sofa while singing `Stricken'. I didn't mean to break Felicia's TV and don't know why Felicia would accuse me of Murder.
I don't remember calling Steve's wife a Horny Cow---even though she looked like one with Red eye shadow and Green lipstick!
And when I threw up on Barb's husband's Chi Chi's, it was only because I ate too much of that Hot Dog.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Truck through my neighbor's Kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Slimy Dog and have me arrested for um...Theft?!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Crazy and Angry. And I'm really not to blame for any of this Happy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and Slowly yours,Bonni (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 14 bucks!